Have You Ever Peed On Your Own Hand?

Random remembrance of the day:

Every once in a while I will remember someone that has touched my life, be it life changing or not. Some of these people were very special to me, some not, but they are all connected by the fact that I forgot they even existed… until that one day, like today, I am once again graced by their spirit and for some God-forsaken reason and have thought about them. Today it was DB. Not DB for douche bag, or dumb bitch or even DB for dick biter. No, this special lad was DB for double barrel. That’s right, this man was no mortal single-shooter, but a full-fledged, dual-action, double-ported monster. Yes, the man had two holes in his penis. I encountered this stranger on an odd outing at a state park not too far from Manhattan, KS. On that hot July day I had made extended connections that would make the Pope jealous (P.J.Pizzle Deuce (Get Well Soon!)) I had, in fact, called upon the favor of a friend of a friend and scored a day out on the glistening Tuttle Creek State Park Lake in a gloriously fast and able speedboat. Ladies, beer, skiing and peeing in my pants; could life get better? I submit that it could not. How the subject of twin dick-hole’s came about I may never remember, but alas it did. As any other confused and curious nineteen-year-old male would do, I probed the issue deeper, with increasing awe and amazement. Two fully functional pee-holes, could it really be true? I needed more proof if I was to believe this prophetic claim, but being as un-gay as I am I could not resort to the Josh method of penile exploration (insert grinding noise here). So I asked him to prove the only way I saw fit. With my fist in the air and gravel in my voice I said to him, “BD….. let me see two streams.” With a hop to the starboard and a flick of the wrist, he bared his dimpled ass. A ghastly sight I must say, but the ladies seemed to enjoy it quite so. He turned his head, gave a quick nod and winked at me, I swear to you, just ever so slightly as I watched in amazement. A standard stream of urine could be seen splitting the uprights… as perfect as any could imagine. But there was another, and not of lesser force, golden shower showing itself up and to the left. A perfect 45 degrees from the horizontal; and anyone with a physics background can tell you that is the perfect angle for maximum range.

I think about ole DB once in a while. Usually whilst I am pissing on my own had due to poor nozzle management. I can only imagine the hell DB must have gone through. So in honor of this man, I hope you shall think of DB next time you wet your hand with your own urine.

-- BenJ