Thursday, January 26, 2006

New Year, New Post . . . Same Pee Pee Poopy Jokes

I knew with the new year would come new technologies, but I can already say that this is the greatest new technology of the year - the entire year. The trophy is already being engraved.

2006 technology of the year!!

I'm getting two!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Washington's Taint

It had been a while since the last time I laughed so hard I started crying, that is, until last night. Jon Stuart and The Daily Show headlines covered the ever-growing Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal in Congress that has triggered a race among Republicans to fill the House Majority Leader post recently vacated by Tom DeLay (R-TX). This past Sunday, Chris Wallace of Fox News Sunday had guest appearances by all three Republicans vying for the position. John Shadegg (R-AZ) sought to distance himself from the competition:

SHADEGG: Neither of my opponents have returned all of that money. And indeed, you know, I believe my record in terms of the level of taint that's there is dramatically different from either of them.

WALLACE: You say the level of taint. Do you feel that they're tainted?

SHADEGG: Well, I think that if you look at some of the things you've
already raised in this show, the long practices that go on in the House that they've had a chance particularly to clean up and haven't cleaned up.

Hearing a Member of Congress discuss his "level of taint" was amusing enough, but what ensued was a hilarious, albeit not unpredictable, exchange between Jon and Daily Show Senior Political Correspondent Ed Helms. The discussion began with where the taint in Washington lies (not in the House, not in the Senate, but somewhere in between), reached a climax at a map of DC (picture Washington monument with Capitol Dome and Jefferson Memorial on one side, the Pentagon on the other, the taint is in the middle), and concluded with Helms displaying "the Shocker" as an instrument that could be used to cleanse DC's taint.

As of this morning the video has not been posted at TDS, but should be soon. If you happened to miss this insightful, double-entendre laced examination of DC's taint, I strongly recommend you catch the replay tonight.

DOUBLE FUCK!

After many trials and tribulations, here's the fucking photo. Since I've exceeded my post quota for the month, I'll talk to y'all in Feb. Slainte

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

FUCK

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I figured it out; when I use the trackpad, I touch it too much, which the computer registers as "enter" and tells this thing to publish before I'm ready. I always did poke things with my finger too much.

Apparently...

I guess I've already drank too many German beers, because I posted without adding the picture. So for your enjoyment, here it is...

And no, her tits did not feel like sandbags. But she was smugglin raisins, if you know what I mean. Must've been cold.

Yeah, the Rusky hat is awesome. Too bad it wasn't mine. Damn Kyrghi guard wouldn't trade...

BenJ, I love your BOX! Pandora's is awesome. I haven't addeda widget to my new ibook, but plan to! Speaking of new posts, this is it's first post! I'm so proud. Next thing I know it'll be looking at my porn and playing peewee football. They grow up so fast...

WTF over?

I'm out flying missions in the "Box," aka Iraq and Afghaniland, and KU fucking loses to our two biggest rivals? What. The. Fuck. Over. I'm in sie Deutschland right now drowning my sorrows by drinking my weight in German beer...which is very good by the way.
And yes, in honor of the "flying jayhawk," here's a pic of the lil guy in Kyrghistan with a sweet honey I met. I tried to woo her, but seeing as how I'm able to find an ice princess in hell, she turned a cold shoulder to my flirtations.

Last time I hit on an ice princess, it took two Kentucky Gentleman/Natty Light boilermakers drunk in rapid succession to give me the courage!

Obtw, I get back from the desert and get on a commercial flight in Newark, nonstop to Dublin with my K-state flying compadre, who I've spent the last two weeks with in tent...the other pilots/loadmasters on the trip started calling us the Brokeback Lts, which I don't appreciate in the slightest. MY liver is going to die.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Uncouth...

Sorry guys, but I had to do it:

Monday, January 09, 2006

Check out my hairy Box!

Pandora's box that is... and I guess it's not hairy at all.

I'm always wanting to check out new music and find the coolest bands but I can't seem to find the time to look them up on the internet or get my lazy ass to a show. And commercial radio is a let down to say the least. What I need is something to TELL me what I like... well, nicely suggest rather. Turns out there is just such a thing and it is totally free. It's called Pandora, and based on bands you like it will suggest more bands.

But it's not just a music suggester, it's a full fleged personalized internet radio station. Give it a band name you like and it will start playing a song from that band. After the song is over it will play a different band that is similar to the one you entered. You have the choice to say "likey" or "no likey" and based on these ratings it determines what you like. The more you listen and rate, the better the music gets. It will even tell you why it's playing what it is. You can even create different stations, maybe one is rock, one is acoustic and another goth (my fav!).

It seems to have a nearly infinite music database; I had no problem finding TGUK, Reggie and UFB. And for those genius mac users out there, they have a nice widget for you to put on your dashboard. So seriously, this is the coolest F'ing thing I've seen in a long time... do it.

Link to make Scott's life even lazier:
Pandora.com

Oh yeah... Happy Birthday Scotty!